The One That Got Away

I have found that perhaps the number one downfall of aspiring actors is that they imbue each audition with such a sense of make or break desperation such that when they they don't "make", the result is something just short of utter devastation. They take the rejection personally and spend days or weeks obsessing over why they did not get this or that role.

I decided early on that it was much more effective, from a self preservation standpoint, to prepare well for each audition, do my best, and then forget about it and move on to the next audition. If I got the part, great. If not, I wouldn't give it another thought. Of course, for many of these actors, a missed part means not being able to pay rent that month, a problem that, with my day job, I fortunately did not have to confront, but I still think the point holds.

I simply would not allow myself to think my acting had anything to do with me not getting the part. I just wasn't the type they were looking for. I had seen it enough when I interned with a major casting director that I knew it was true often enough. Why beat yourself up over it?

However, I learned recently that the larger the role, the bigger the stakes and the harder it is to practice what I have been preaching. In October of 2005 my agent got me an audition for a major motion picture, called "Flight 93" directed by Paul Greengrass ("The Bourne Supremacy" and "Bloody Sunday"). It was to be an unscripted real time account of the last minutes aboard the ill fated UA Flight 93 that crashed in Shanksville, PA on September 11th, 2001. The audition was improv (which I love) and was with several other actors. I was very pleased with my performance, but, as noted above, I left the audition put it out of my mind. It would be nearly a month before I got a call from my agent about a call back, this time in front of the director and producer (both recognizable names in the industry).

I was very excited. Even a callback was currency I could use with other casting directors and agents. Hundreds of actors audition, but, while only one gets the part, a call back does show you impressed casting enough with your talent. My call back went equally as well as the first I thought and was also improv. But again I let it go and moved on. I didn't have to move far. By the time I got home I had a call from my agent for a second call back. This time I was asked to prepare for a particular character, Louis Nacke, one of the passengers who allegedly stormed the cockpit. Again, the director and producer would be there. Although I didn't think the character they asked me to prepare for was as much "me" as I had been portraying in my first two auditions, I felt I did a good job and showed them some range and versatility. I also thought I detected a knowing glance from the director as we shook hands after my audition. I had never felt more confident about an audition before - and this one for a major motion picture! Even my agent was excited this time - and they never get excited until you actually book something.

Well, I waited......and I waited....and I waited. But no call from my agent. I tried to put it behind me and move on, but it was hard. I had TWO call backs and had done well. I was a bit concerned that the real life Louis Nacke was 43 and overweight and looked nothing like me, but the director had mentioned that he wasn't casting for look alikes. I convinced myself that maybe they were just taking their time like they did between the first and second auditions, but when their production date drew near (which they had said would be early November) I knew that I had not gotten the part. Interestingly I was able to mourn briefly and then move on.

Then, four months later, as I sat in a darkened movie theatre awaiting the start of the film "Syriana" my heart sank as I saw what appeared to be a preview for a film about a plane crash. The trailer was cut in such a way that it was unclear at the beginning what was happening. But then I saw the title and my fears were confirmed......"Flight 93......Coming May 2006". When the feature presentation began I could hardly concentrate (and with "Syriana" you really needed to concentrate to know what was going on) as my mind raced with fantasies of how I would be feeling had I actually booked the role. How, months later, these same people sitting in the audience with me, would be watching ME on the big screen. Friends and relatives would call me up and say "Hey Arol, we saw you at our local multiplex!".

But alas, it was not to be. Not this time. Not this film. I have moved on now, but I'm sure when the film actually hits theatres in May and I start to see commercials for the film on TV, The One That Got Away will be back to haunt me with a vengeance.

Here is the link if you want to see the trailer. http://www.flight93themovie.com